"Between Weight and air" (2024)

Performed at The Wee Red Bar in collaboration with Johanna Khandakar, Endurance and Care explored the intricate relationship between care, struggle, and the limits of physical and emotional endurance. The performance juxtaposed opposing sensory experiences: Johanna, seated center stage in a serene white dress, played a traditional Chinese brass tongue drum with rhythmic calmness, while I engaged in a physically taxing act of labor. Bare-chested except for a chain of traditional bells and black tights, I repeatedly carried heavy logs—larger than myself—across the room, treating each with an intense delicacy and reverence, as one would care for a fragile body.

 

The performance unfolded amidst a cacophony of sound: the calming rhythm of the drum counterbalanced by the piercing noise of a pain generator, which enveloped the audience in the tension of endurance. The piece invited viewers to share in the physical and emotional toll, mirroring how the exhaustion of overburdened care often leads to lapses in gentleness toward oneself or others. As my strength waned, my ability to treat the logs with the same delicacy diminished, symbolizing the strain of persistent effort.

 

Throughout the performance, moments of intuitive interaction between Johanna and myself emerged, with her presence embodying care personified—a calming anchor amidst the chaos. The dichotomy between the rhythmic drum, the harsh noise, and my visible struggle created a powerful meditation on care, endurance, and the fragility of human effort under strain.